


From The Brain Cage

by zara2148



Category: Batman: The Telltale Series (Video Game)
Genre: Headcanon, M/M, Meta, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-11 22:38:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16861492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zara2148/pseuds/zara2148
Summary: Not full-fledged fanfics, but my longer headcanons from my tumblr (that were essentially fic drafts).





	1. How John Doe became a beloved fashionista in Gotham

**Author's Note:**

> So I was already planning on backing up this meta/headcanon I shared that people really seemed to like, with tumblr pretty much suiciding. And I read a post that pointed out AO3 is for FANWORKS, not just fully fleshed-out fanfiction. That includes meta, meta essays, headcanons...
> 
> And so since AO3 and tumblr really seemed to be where the Telltale Batjokes fandom gathered... made sense to back this up here.
> 
> I'm not expecting a lot of attention for this. But people seemed to like them, I certainly liked them, and want it to still be found if tumblr is nuked (from orbit. Only way to be sure).

_The[original post](http://zara2148.tumblr.com/post/173091063268/imagine-bruce-waynes-boyfriend-john-doe-becoming) and it's text:_

Imagine Bruce Wayne’s boyfriend John Doe becoming a fashion icon in Gotham’s gossip columns, after he’s rereleased and moves into the manor.

It starts with showing up to Bruce’s social gatherings… dressed pretty much like how you would expect Joker to dress. Colorful suits in rich fabrics and wild patterns that are predominantly purple, designed to accent the best of John’s frame and its features. Makeup game strong if unsubtle, not unlike what he shows in the villain route, drawing in the eye and having it linger in stunned amazement. Confidence that is mostly real after the trust he’s rebuilt and the love he’s found with Bruce (even if beneath it yeah, John’s got major butterflies).

He stands out from the crowd of relatively conservative high society Gothamites, like a peacock dressed to depress. It was also kind of John’s way of saying, “I know I’ll never be one of you, and anyway I’d much rather be one of me.”

And he was already going to make the papers, for obvious, obvious reasons. But those glossy pictures of him hit the stands, and Gothamites are going, “Oh, now I get what Bruce Wayne sees in him.” Women are half-jokingly saying, “Damn, I need to get me a man from the asylum.”

John is ECSTATIC at going from ‘scandalous asylum freak’ to 'trophy boyfriend and lust object.’ He has eyes only for Bruce, but that’s the thing. The Waynes are known for having only the finest. And John will be damned if he’s not considered fine enough man candy for Bruce.

(John also cuts out all the glossy tabloid photos of him and Bruce, because of course he would. They look so good together…)

Bruce is a bit concerned about where this desire to be adored is coming from in John, but knows it’s not surprising given his background. But it seems to a harmless way for John to further build his esteem, so he’s supportive about John’s efforts, buying him the best in fabrics and high-end makeup.

Bruce would also be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate John’s new looks and growing confidence as well, even if he did first fall for John when he was a hot mess. The press even catches some of his admiring looks at John on camera.

And so John’s reputation as an impeccable if eccentric dresser begins… and no one in high society denies that he makes it work for him.

_And[an addition](http://zara2148.tumblr.com/post/178258734811/cleaning-out-some-drafts-finally-publishing-this) I wrote the next day and posted months later (that is how I roll)..._

So part two to ‘John becomes a Gotham fashionista,’ because it was late when I first wrote it and I was tired and the post was already long.

But… Bruce letting his trendsetting boyfriend doll him up for parties and outings.

It’s all at Bruce’s suggestion. John’s reluctant to do so at first, because ‘I CAN’T IMPROVE ON PERFECTION, BRUCE.’ But eventually, Bruce coaxes him into giving it a shot.

Which means going out and buying makeup . (Bruce did not think that part through.)Sometimes these makeup session devolve into kisses, which neither mind despite the touchups it means. Except NEVER when John is applying eyeliner, as Bruce learns the hard, painful way.

Ever hear a story of a someone who was told how good they looked without makeup, only to correct the speaker that no, they actually were wearing makeup they just made it look flawlessly natural? That’s Bruce’s makeup job.

Most people don’t consciously notice it, but it is noted how he’s somehow more good-looking than before… it’s attributed to love (which isn’t wrong).

Then there’s Bruce asking John to tailor him a suit… it took a while for him to get out a garbled yes, as John suddenly had too much drool in his mouth.

 


	2. Teen Batjokes AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essentially 'what if Thomas and Martha Wayne had lived, so Bruce got to meet John sooner...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally directed this to smolbeanjoker on tumblr because they had made a post about wanting to hear about other people's AU's.

_[The original post:](http://zara2148.tumblr.com/post/173985010395/smolbeanjoker-okay-ive-got-an-idea-for-a) _

Imagine an AU where Bruce’s parents never die. Thomas still does horrible things at Arkham, and consequently Bruce spends some time there. He’s even interested in becoming a doctor… just not a doctor like his father.

Enter John Doe and his mysterious backstory. Thomas wants to know where the hell this new patient came from. Bruce, a fan of detective novels, offers to take the case and dig deeper. Thomas agrees, but warns him to be careful (he gets Bad Vibes from John).

Bruce’s best efforts turn up no concrete answers, but in the process he spends more time with the mysterious John Doe. And both of them get fond of the other.

I think I’d place them both in their late teens when they first start spending time together. John’s a lot more Joker-ish at this point than we see for much of in-game, hasn’t really been guided into more sane behavior (think S1 vs. S2, only moreso). But the guy’s also a little bit lonely - even Thomas Wayne’s victims tend to have someone who will visit them, but who does he have?

No one. Except Bruce, so he latches onto the guy. John is, as always, eager to impress Bruce and offers to be a sort of man on the inside, to give him an idea of the asylum’s dealings that happen when Bruce isn’t around (Thomas is still trying to shelter his son from the Bad Things he is doing).

And Bruce is lonely too, if in different ways. None of his rich peers see past his masks, not even his parents really see him at this point. Alfred, who’s stuck it out for Bruce sake, has a good idea of who Bruce is, but there’s still distance between them with a more traditional master/servant relationship that they have with Bruce’s parents alive.

But John sees down to Bruce’s morally conflicted core - yes, there’s darkness there, but not a darkness like his father’s.

Probably a quip at some point about questionable doctor/patient relationships, with John saying something like “You’re not yet a doctor, and I’m not one for being patient.” *laughs* “And is being a doctor what you want to be anyway?”

Bruce is still uncomfortably aware of the power gap between them, even if it’s not strictly a doctor/patient one, fighting off John’s efforts at stealing kisses even as he would love to give in. But this only motivates John even more to get out of the asylum and find a way to be on more equal footing with Bruce. They discuss their plans for the future outside the asylum walls, even as neither of them are quite sure what they want to be other than together.

And Thomas and Martha aren’t oblivious to their son’s developing interest in a mental patient, or under any delusions that it’s solely platonic. Thomas is kind of blunt about it, saying that if it’s an affair Bruce is after there are more… acceptable targets. Y’know, that are OUTSIDE of Arkham Asylum. There are some arguments, some heated things said, and Bruce has been tempted to run to the asylum and stay there overnight with John after some of them (like a kid who sleepovers at a friend’s house to cool down after fighting with their parent).

Martha is more supportive because of her compassionate nature, but she still wishes that Bruce would be more careful around this teen with questionable behavior, afraid he’s going to get hurt (and not because she thinks that John would intentionally hurt Bruce, but unintentional hurts are so easy to inflict without thinking)

(And in her head, she can’t help but make a comparison to her relationship with Thomas. A ‘monster’ is not a monster when you love it, after all).

And also just some cute Juce moments - like John is really curious about what high school is like, Bruce tells him he’s not missing much (and lowkey wishes he could take John as his date to a school dance).

Heck maybe John could actually break out of Arkham and just show up at Bruce’s dance in a suit he swiped on the way (the suit’s not his preferred style, but hey, making do with what you can in a pinch), after Bruce told him about the dance. Because why not make this kind of high school AU while I’m at it and have some fluffy dancing.

And both of them being utter bisexual disasters. Like Bruce at one point coaching John on defending himself to protect himself in Arkham (let’s say even without his parents death Bruce is into martial arts) leading to some lingering touches and blushes on Bruce’s part. And John… just being John, really, is all that’s needed for disaster (I had a more specific example, but I’m sorry, it’s been forgotten).

_(NOTE: I've since remembered it was something about picking flowers from the asylum grounds... and angering a pre-Poison Ivy Pamela Isley)._

Where this is would ultimately go, I don’t know - I just have the basic idea of Bruce meeting John not long after he’s first committed, and things happen from there, including lots of drama with Thomas.

[And the followup post](http://zara2148.tumblr.com/post/174044242130/i-was-just-going-to-reblog-my-post-with-awesome) _(after[awesome art by smolbeanjoker](https://smolbeanjoker.tumblr.com/post/173999987484/zara2148-smolbeanjoker-okay-ive-got-an-idea), thanks again!): _

So the turning point for this AU is that Falcone got wind of the plot to kill the Waynes and warned them just in time. So the family stayed at home, instead of going to the movies that night.

(Bruce still remembers, years later, Thomas’s outraged “I made him what he is!” that he overheard that night once his father learned of Hill’s betrayal).

Hill was later… dealt with.

Martha, realizing how close she came to losing husband and son, backs down from her efforts to see the terrible trio (now duo) brought to justice. She instead moves to more passive damage control and mitigation of Thomas’s worse actions through charitable venues. (Yeah… the Waynes’ marriage isn’t awful per say, but it’s not really entirely happy either in this AU. Divorce was considered after the Hill betrayal, back-and-forth conversation about whether the family staying together was what was best for Bruce or not, but ultimately both parties still cared about all involved too much to let the other go).

This also means that Falcone gets to be a cool honorary uncle to Bruce, because the families never grew apart. He’s actually a lowkey supporter of the Juce relationship as it develops, on the grounds that it’s not a bad idea for the heir to the Wayne legacy (whether he likes all that the title comes with or not) to have someone so loyal to him and so willing to resort to violence with prejudice and competence. If Bruce is going to have a boyfriend, then that boyfriend had better be a bulldog, is his reasoning.

Speaking of John’s interest… he didn’t exactly fall in love with Bruce at first sight. Yes, his first reaction to seeing Bruce was absolutely “whoa.” Yes, he’s more looking for a friend in Bruce than Bruce is in him at first, because of the characters’ different states of loneliness. But he’s also pragmatic enough to try cozying up to the son of the feared Thomas Wayne, top dog of Arkham, as a way of staying on his good side (alas, he was not social savvy enough to realize how that could backfire, concerning Thomas’ opinion of him).

The attraction between them was a surprise to both of them.

(Still, that part of John’s plan pretty much does work. Because Bruce is keeping an eye on how all the doctors act toward John now so he’s treated extremely well by Arkham standards, and Thomas isn’t willing to so grievously betray what trust his son has in him by, say, ordering a surprise lobotomy for John.)

As to other players in this AU… Leland. She’s one of the few (if the only) doctor at Arkham that isn’t corrupt and is willing to try to change things… and fortunately for her life and livelihood she’s not getting very far there.  She’s… wary of Bruce’s interest in John at first (even when that interest is just mostly about digging up about his past). She cautions John to be careful around Bruce, even as she knows that teens tend to not listen to good life advice. She does warm up to Bruce, even as she’s still concerned about what effect John drawing Bruce’s and Thomas’s attentions will have.

As for any questions of Harley meeting John and Bruce when she starts working at the asylum (oh, I’m sure she’d thrive in a Thomas-run Arkham)… I’m not sure that would even be an issue. With Arkham’s corruption under Thomas, strings could be pulled and John could theoretically be declared sane and released even when he’s not and before he makes efforts toward functionality and mental health (Sins of the Father has Thomas canonically clear people the asylum should have been keeping locked up, for those who haven’t read it). Three things I see stopping this:

  * Thomas’s dislike/concern about John’s attachment to his son. Arkham at least restricts John’s movements.
  * Bruce genuinely wants John to get better, to have the tools he’ll need in the outside world, and knows that John needs what Arkham should be providing its patients with (but being Arkham, isn’t always).
  * John comes to want to prove to Bruce that he’s worthy of being on the outside with him, that he can do what seems to come so easily to others and not just take a free ticket out of there that becomes more tempting to Bruce as time passes



So John needn’t stick to his canon time table of how long he was in Arkham. Still, I think John’s affections would be suitably secured by Bruce that by the time Harley comes to work at Arkham, he’s not remotely interested in her as anything more than a doctor.


	3. Friend Fiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ideas about John writing 'friend fiction' including a fic snippet I wrote for the premise.

_Originally a series of back-and-forth through posts[here](https://wigwoo-what-is-my-life.tumblr.com/post/172954412797/do-you-guys-think-after-john-fell-off-the-bridge)_:

**_Fic snippet ([originally posted here](http://zara2148.tumblr.com/post/173349704351/posting-this-before-i-lose-courage-and-delete-it)):_ **

_Bane and his men were down at the docks. Stealing things they shouldn’t be, as was their way._

_“Quickly, men! Batman and Joker may be off fighting the Clock King, but that won’t buy us much time. We must move while they are distracted.”_

_“Not so fast, Bane! There is still me to deal with!”_

_The stern voice that rang out from the darkness belonged to Batman and Joker’s stern friend, James ‘Jim’ Gordon. Gordon’s face muscles twitched as he stepped into the dock’s scant lighting, showing off the mustache that broke every razor that no-good Waller had taken to it._

_Bane’s ‘stache wriggled like an angry, venomous caterpillar in response. But Gordon didn’t back down at that warning. He kept walking._

_Bane’s men moved to surround him, but Bane waved them off with his meaty hand._

_“No, men. This is a duel of honor. Of facial hair.” He strode forward to meet the challenge. “I must face him alone.”_

...

“Ya know, I was almost tempted to end it by having them kiss, their mustaches rubbing against each other to try and rub the other one out.”

The image of Gordon and Bane kissing was not one Bruce had ever really considered. Nor was it one he really wanted to. But all he said on the matter was, “Uh… I’m not sure how well that would work. Bit of an awkward height distance between them.”

“Oh, I know! That’s part of why I decided against it. The other part, is that well, it seemed kind of unrealistic.”

“The kissing? I suppose people aren’t so quick to kiss as you would have had them be.”

“Well, yes. That too. Sadly.” A glance at Bruce’s face, his lips. “But no, what I figured is that the friction that would be needed to burn off a mustache probably isn’t possible for people to achieve via face rubbing. Otherwise, you’d hear about some disastrous kissing accidents on the news.” He laughed.

“So that’s why I had Gordon flick a lit match at his face, burning the mustache off to, well, win the mustache-off. Figured he has to be carrying some matches around, with all those cancer sticks of his.”

“Hmm… well, I think your Bane here is pretty solid. But I’m not so sure you’ve nailed Gordon’s character.”

“Ahh, yeah, that’s fair. Never really got to meet the guy. Just did some watching from the distance.”

 


End file.
